cheshrinks

So I’ve lost 4 pounds in the past week yay! There hasn’t been much effort involved but I guess I haven’t been bingeing as I’ve been known to do. I guess that’s a powerful lesson in how I made it over 300 pounds. I’ve been eating pizza and ice cream and cake but I’ve still lost weight. I haven’t been eating myself sick, which I’ve been known to do. I am not writing the most cohesive post right now, but I’m mostly trying to create for myself the discipline of writing. Thanks for reading.

It’s been a while since I’ve been on Buddy Slim, but I have ballooned to over 300 lbs and have to do something. It’s hard for me to talk to those closest to me about weight so I think I’ll be spending a lot more time here. I decided this am after weighing in at 302 lbs that I can’t procrastinate any more. I still don’t know what my plan of attack will be, but right now I’m trying to guide myself by thinking, “What would a skinny girl do?” So today when I went to Noodles and Co for lunch I didn’t have pasta, I had salad. I also miraculously made it past 3 pm without chocolate.

I’m at my boyfriend’s house with no scale, but as of yesterday I lost 4 pounds this week! This is especially awesome because it has been with minimal effort. I’ve been doing some meal planning but I’ve definitely had my share of indulgences this week, which I guess goes to show me how much I used to over indulge. I’m still using my move and finances and the weather as excuses not to do everything I’m supposed to, but I’m also making myself do some things I need to.

I’ve noticed some challenges that I faced this week. I work until 10 pm with a break between 5 and 6, if I don’t eat enough at that time all I will do is think about food from 8 to 10 and probably make a bad choice because there aren’t that many options late at night. Also I had one of my worst periods ever this week which made me feel compelled to and justified in indulging. Another challenge is spending so much time with the boyfriend and living in two places at once it makes it difficult to plan anything and hard to get in my blogging, which I’ve only done a few times this week, but would like to do daily.

I’m working on proactive solutions to my problems, and am thrilled to be out of the 280s

I want to commit myself to writing something everyday and I lost a pound yesterday!!!!! Just modifying my eating and resisting most (not all sugar) who  hooo! Let’s see how day 2 treats me I’m going out to breakfast.

As you know I had lots of ambitions for 1/1/2010. The last couple of weeks for me have been maddening for me and I haven’t even had a chance to look at how I want to approach this year. I do know that health and fitness will be a focal point for me however so this morning I made myself weigh in. 283, that I wasn’t expecting. I’m now at a weight where I could stand to lose half my weight. Not for long though. Today possibly this week I’m just focusing on making better food choices so I had a berry smoothie with hemp protien and psyllium for breakfast, black beans and salsa for lunch. I will stay away from sugar and empty carbs.

But when I was on it I loved it! I want to be a writer and I need to lose weight, so what could be better than BuddySlim right?

Where I am now:

Looking at that picture of myself as sexy Minnie Mouse (my current profile pic) is shocking. I thought I was as big as a house at the time, but I’ve put on so much weight since then. I’ve gained at least 40lbs since the spring. I currently weigh about 277.

I’ve had boughts of being incredibly active, Crossfitting, teaching bellydance classes, giving 9 massages a day but this year I’ve slowed down significantly. I feel like I’m due for a whole life overhaul as things have been a little nutty for me lately. The biggest change is that about a year and a half ago I went vegetarian and this year I started eating out all the time, which has translated into having most of my meals be cheese and carbs. I think another factor is that my current boyfriend is 400+ lbs and this is the first time I’ve been with a man who isn’t smaller than me so I don’t have my usual self conciousness about my weight.

I really feel the weight now too, I’ve never weighed quite this much, I’ve previously peaked at about 260 and generally have been able to maintain around 235. I’m getting winded climbing the 3 flights of stairs to my boyfriends apartment, have less energy when I’m playing with kids, and absolutely none of my clothes fit. My back has been bothering me lately too.

January 1 I’m starting the most intense weight loss regime of my life. I will maintain the meal plan I create, but for 5 0r so months will be on an extreme exercise plan. I hope to get a job doing massage therapy on a cruise ship, but it is my understanding that the company that does the management and hiring for those positions has an unwritten weight requirement. I can interview in May, so until then I will put the bulk of my energy into slimming down.

I haven’t quite figured out what my plan of attack is just yet but I know I will be using BuddySlim a video blog on YouTube and my personal blog to keep myself in check. I also know that Yoga will play an integral part in what I do because I’ve noticed that the periods of my life when I’m happiest also happen to be those when I’m doing Yoga regularly.

I will keep you all updated as I know more.

I’m definitely back in the gym. Yesterday I did CrossFit and power yoga, today crossfit and zumba. I was apprehensive to return to power yoga because I hadn’t been in a few months but I survived.

I declined an invitation to meet the boy for a late night (1am) bite, ensuring my presence in the gym at 6:45. We had to do 5 400 meter runs this morning and I did the first two without stopping to walk!

I’m not doing as well with my eating though I did consume fruits and vegetables at three different points yesterday but I’m eating cake while I’m writing this. I intend to make vows to myself, to give my body what it needs. I believe that horrible dietary habits are essentially poisoning myself and I’m going to stop.

Wow! I so thought I was back in the game last Monday and I guess I was easing my way back in, but I did some pretty self destructive things last week. Fortunately it’s Monday again and I’m ready to start fresh.

I have been known to suffer from depression and I feel like last week I had a relapse. Everything was falling just a little bit apart and instead of putting it all back together I let it all go. I consider my mental/emotional state to be pretty fragile and so in order for one thing to be going well for me I have to do everything right. If my house is dirty or I am not dedicated to my business, my diet and exercise stuff will fail and vice versa. I have to plug myself into a productive Che` oriented routine where I can thrive. If I go a little off track it’s like everything falls apart.

I think my latest set of problems started with a man. He sometimes demands so much of my time that it is easy to skip the gym, but I actually rely on those endorphins, the gym is my drug I have to go or else.

So today once again I’m back on my horse I went to CrossFit and I’ll go to power yoga in about an hour, I may even rollerblade. I am my main priorty. I’m plugging back in to productivity, weight loss and happiness.

 SMiLes!

Yesterday I made it into the gym on three different occasions, yay me! My food consumption however left much to be desired. Too many people in my household, are off this week because of spring break. Because I already work from home their is this leisurely air of vacation all around me that leads to informal visiting and GASP casual eating. Casual eating is so much worse than say, casual sex which at least is great for your abs and burns calories.

I’m going to be better today, though I have yet to consume a single fruit or vegetable and skipped pilates class. It’s early, there’s hope for me yet. I think it’s supposed to be unseasonably warm, I may go skating.

Exercise Log

At this point in my life I’m turning into a bit of an exercise junky. When I discovered CrossFit last summer it truly saved my life. That is to say in the month and a half or so that I wasn’t posting and that I was allowing my eating habits to wane, I was still CrossFitting so relatively active.

However, since my last post I have quit my job, am self employed full time, have broken that barrier between 231 and 229 and am officially 100% back in the game. I’m excited. Due to the nature of my work, I’m a massage therapist and that I’m starting to build my practice, I have mucho time to spend in the gym. I’m also learning that because I can’t eat before I work out, the more I work out the less I can eat, BONUS, I’m loving it. The icing on the cake is that the weather is finally starting to break.

Life is good.